Fight or Flight

"Anything worth having is worth fighting for" exactly how long and how hard are you supposed to fight? When is enough, enough? Do we as people not know when to just throw in the towel and walk away? And why is it that we can't walk away? Are the opinions and judgments of others that important?

Why is it that we let what others think about us determine what we do with our lives? I myself have been guilty of this! I have worried "what will they say if I?" and made a choice based on what I thought others expected of me. That’s no way to live, really it’s not. If you go through life living your life the way others want you to live it, you are NOT really living now are you.

I say all this to say I have and am still learning to recognize and know when it’s time to end the fight and accept defeat or better yet claim VICTORY!

Strange how things happen!

I was sitting here the other day thinking how i have these ideas for blogs but never write them. Sometimes i feel like its just a waste of my time. So today i downloaded Chrisette Michelle's Latest CD and heard the song If nobody sang along and i was reminded that i have a voice and i should make it heard. So here's my goal for 2011, be it read or not i am going to try and do a blog once a week at the least. I have a lot to say and even if no one ever hears/sees it getting it off my chest is a good thing!!

anywho here are the lyrics and the song that gave me my "epiphany" tee hee hee!!



IF NOBODY SANG ALONG

"If there were no record labels
No radios or TVs
No magazines, no MTV
No channel to see

Would I even tell my story?
Would I even sing my song?
If nobody sang along
Would I take the time to write it?
Would I say what's on my mind?
If nobody sang along

Who's all this for?
Is it my song or yours?
Am I the superstar or are you?
I feel so challenged
Like I'm on trial
But if you aren't around, would I gotta tell the truth?


Would I even tell my story?
Would I even sing my song?
If nobody sang along
Would I take the time to write it?
Would I say what's on my mind?
If nobody sang along

Baby I like being played on the radio
Baby i like being just like the other girls
Baby i wish i was in more media
Maybe i need to just say what i wanna say

Maybe I should tell my story
Maybe I should sing my song
And somebody just might sing along
Maybe if I only write it
And just say what's on my mind
I'd be all over your TV screen
The radio would play what I believe
If I just say whats inside of me
I might set somebody free
If I just be me
Me"


Luv
Freckles!!

Even though I try I can't let go, or can I?

Can you ever trust someone 100%? I’ve been known to say I don’t trust anyone 100% not even my mama!! As I get older I wonder if my caution/paranoia is justified or just plain old crazy!

Is the lack in ability to trust someone an issue within oneself? I ask questions like do I not trust them because I don’t trust myself? Am I so weary of everyone else because of who I am inside? 50 million dollar question. I’d like to think that my friends and family could trust me with any and everything yet and still I don’t give them that same trust! Why is that? How does one break out of the vicious cycle of mistrust? How do I stop one small event from making my mind go across the world and back again with doubt and what ifs and I bet you’re this I bet your that? Can any relationship truly work or survive if there is no true declaration of trust?

How do you get out of your own head/way and let go and move forward? Do you know an easy way to let go? The answer to that question has eluded me for years. I mean sure with time you can let go of things past hurts, past words, just the past in general but you never truly forget and it’s always there somewhere tucked in the back of your mind. The next question that appears is who are you really hurting by holding on to that shit? I mean the person that may be attached to that negativity is probably over it and moved on with their life while you on the other hand are still haunted and held back by what you refuse to let go. Now what’s funny is how I can write that and I know it’s the truth that holding on to bullish and grudges only hurts me, but I still do it. Guess it’s true I’m good at being everybody else’s conscience except my own!! It is always easier said than done when it comes to taking your own advice.

Guess I’ve got a lot more growing to do, and acknowledging that is the first step on the path to bettering myself and my habits. I’m not perfect, I’m no angel, I’m just me!!